Fiction: Stewart (part 5 of 5)

Chuck Wendig’s Latest Flash Fiction Challenge. Part five of Meagan Wilson’s story of demon summoning. I think someone titled it “Stewart”, possibly in one of the other threads. I’m kept that here just for the sake of convenience. Total word count: 979

Part 1: Meagan Wilson

“Yes, this penthouse view is quite breathtaking,” I turned to the luscious blonde before me, “but not nearly as lovely as—”

A thunder clap, and then I was standing in a small, glowing circle, surrounded by a gaggle of chanting fools in robes.

“Oh great Sorasel im Palat, lord of fire and darkness, fell devourer of the innocent, conqueror of—” Arcane symbols covered the speaker’s robes, nearly obscuring the heavy crimson fabric.

“Yes, yes, get on with it.” I gestured with my gin martini.

He paused, then finished in a post-pubescent squeak, “We invoke thy true name and bid thee do our will.”

“Oh you do, do you? Well I want you to send me back. I was having a smashing time, and that girl may not have two brain cells to rub together, but she looked quite likely to do some rubbing together. If you know what I mean.”

The robe-wearers shuffled, and whispered amongst themselves. The leader piped up again.

“O great Sorasel im—“

“Stop that, stop that,” I interrupted. “Only my dad calls me that. I prefer my middle name. If you must speak, call me Stewart.”

More shuffling and whispering from my summoners.

Part two: Wanderer

“Oh great and mighty…Stewart….” the leader—whose pasty face was mostly spots—began again. “We bind thee to our will.”

I took a sip of my martini—extra dirty, extra olives—and raised an eyebrow at the little prat. Summoners used to know what they were doing. I looked at the floor where their demon trap was sloppily drawn with what smelled unmistakably like fresh, store-bought spray paint. I sighed. What happened to the blood of a virgin? Or even the vital fluids of an unwilling Christian priest?

I noticed their silence; I could practically smell their fear—a mixture of piss and that foul deodorant that promised them flocks of women. I took another gulp of the martini—it was perfect. Almost as flawless as my blonde client who was no doubt currently working her minimal intelligence into a sweat in an effort to find me.
“Well? Get on with it.”

“We bound you, oh great Sora—er—Stewart.”

“I heard that part. So,” I made sure to smile with all of my teeth. “You’ve bound me. Congratulations. Now, what do you plan to do?”

“Jaime, this was your idea.” One of the other robed figures poked the leader.

Part three: DangerDean

“Yes…Jaime? You masterminded this escapade?” I drained the martini, and stared directly at Jaime.

“Oh great Stewart, we sumoned you because…um…” Jamie looked sheepish. “We want to get laid, like, a lot.” The chuckleheads voiced their agreement with grunts and high fives.

“You seriously summoned me because you want sex? Personal hygiene and asking a girl on a date didn’t work, so you decided ‘Meh. Let’s just summon a demon’?” A couple of them laughed, but were quickly silent.

“Well, you’ve taken the trouble to bring me here, and I’m bound to your will, but just because I’m feeling generous, I’m going to give you a short primer on demon invocation.” They looked at each other warily.

“There are five elements of a proper invocation. Three you have managed admirably. You have consecrated the space. I personally would have used something a little more visceral, but there’s no accounting for taste. I’m here, so obviously you have successfully invoked me, and of course, you have bound me to your will.” I looked down my nose at Jaime.

“The fourth element, however, is constraint. You must constrain the actions of the demon. That, my young friends, you have not done.”

Part four: Aaron Browder

I took a step outside the glowing ring, and the five of them shuffled back like frightened animals. Jaime and the leader exchanged a glance, and their faces grew serious.

“Take him down!” cried the leader. Within a single second they were all shouting like crazed warriors and rushing me. They flung their smelly bodies onto me, clinging to my back, arms grappling my neck, the weight of five preteen boys dragging me down. I leaned forward slightly to keep my balance, then brought two fingers to my lips and kissed them.

A low, sharp rumbled filled the windowless room, like the heavy bass of a speaker, and the boys, still hooting like maniacs, flew in five directions and thunked nearly in unison onto their backs. I took a sip of my martini. Not a drop had been spilled.

I paced toward Jaime, who scrambled upright, his eyes wide with terror.

“You really want to know what it’s like to get laid by a demon?” I hovered over him, grinning, the fingers of my left hand glowing bright orange and smoking.

“Muh… Muh…” he stuttered. I turned my ear toward him, cupping it. “MOM!”

Part 5 (me)

“You’re calling for your mommy little boy?” I sneered.

I heard footsteps pounding closer, so I turned to the door and put on my most fearsome demeanor. This should be fun.

The door slammed opened and a woman charged through. She took in the tableau in one quick glance. I opened my mouth to welcome her to my clutches, but before I could say anything, she made a throwing motion and shouted a single word that made me cringe.

The summoning ring flared a bright red behind me and a force grabbed me and yanked me back inside.

I stared at the woman who now had her arms around Jamie stroking his hair. She looked vaguely familiar.

“Jamie, I told you, you weren’t ready yet.”

“Sorry, Mom,” the boy said. He scuffed his foot on the floor.

The woman sighed and ruffled his hair. “Maybe it’s for the best,” she said. She looked at me. “Yes, I think it’s time.”

She drew the boy closer so they faced me across the barrier.

“Stewart, I would like you to meet your son, James.”

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5 Responses to Fiction: Stewart (part 5 of 5)

  1. Rebecca Douglass says:

    Wow. This didn’t go along with the version I added, but it’s a great story as it turned out!

  2. I laughed out loud. It’s great! And similar to the tack I was thinking of taking, if no one else did. Something about the mom being an old flame, anyway. Well done. :-)

  3. Smoph says:

    Great ending Paul! I like what you did with it!

  4. aaronbrowder says:

    Excellent ending! I never saw it coming. :)

    • Paul Baughman says:

      Well, shucks! Thanks. It’s easy to disguise an ending when five different people do the writing.

      Originally I just thought Jamie’s mother would kick Stewart’s ass, because, you know, the female of the species is more dangerous, especially when protecting her young. Then this ending popped out of the ole subconscious and I ran with it.

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